cd1

So today is cycle day 1 for my IVF cycle.  So today I add three new shots to the mix!  One in the morning and two at night.  The morning shot, Lovenox, a blood thinner, gave me a horrible headache that lasted the whole day. Fun!

My pm shots are new ones for me.  Gonal F and Menopure, which I've never used before Always fun when you aren't sure what to expect, but they seemed to go off without a hitch! 

So time to start stimming.  I am trying to remember the side effects I had last time.  I remember the bloating, and the insane hunger. I tell ya, I was craving salmon like a grizzly bear coming out of hibernation!  I don't know why, but really, I just wanted to eat salmon. Smoked salmon with cream cheese and avocado on a cracker was heaven to me! 

Right now, I'm craving chocolate.  I was going to ask Chad to bring me home peanut m&ms on his way home from work, but he's working late tonight... booo!

I do have a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge..

So have I told you I love my dogs?

So I have two dogs.  Spike and  Daisy, aka the Luvies! Spikey is a 4 year old chihuahua and Daisy is a 2 year old chihuahua/terrier/who knows what mix.  They are my loves!  These little doggies mean the world to me, and I talk about them a lot! 

Spike is lazy.  If I am in bed, he is in bed. If I'm sitting down, he is in my lap.  He lives his life just to be with me.  I absolutely love this little dog!  Everyone loves Spike.  He's not yippy, he's good with kids, he's pretty calm.. aka lazy.  He let's me dress him up, he rides in my bike basket. He's the best little guy ever!

After my miscarriages, I was a wreck.  Chad saw this and that year for Christmas he asked what I really wanted and I told him a puppy.   We went to see a litter of chihuahua pups and Chad says to me "You're going to take the first puppy they put in your hands."  No this is a serious decision I won't be taking lightly.  So we go to see the puppies and they put the runt of the litter in my hands.. and it was love at first site.  I did hold all the puppies but I went back to the runt.  He was like a little mouse.  I named him Spike at that moment and it was pure love!  This little dog has helped me more than anyone knows.  He let me be mama to him, he let me love him and nurture him when I was feeling lost.  And that little dog loves me too.

And then there's my Daisy.  She's a strange little dog.  She's awkward, she gets her feelings hurt really easily, she sheds too much, she barks too much, and she wants to lick your face way too much.  But she is loveable. She's very sweet.  She was originally my sister in law's dog.  So we got her when she was already 7 months old, which made training difficult, since she was already a wild country hillbilly dog!  My mother in law lives in the country, at the end of a dirt road, so Daisy is still having some trouble adjusting to city life!   And boy is that girl nosey!!! She loves to sit in the window and look.  She loves to go in the backyard, sit on the picnic table and look. She spys on the neighbors. I will see her looking through the little holes in the fences just watching.  And it's not a quick peek either, she will sit there for a while just watching. What she is looking at, I don't know.  She's silly and goofy and she is my girl!

They are my luvies!!!!!!!

So people have told me I should start a blog.. Ok.. why not.  I don't think anyone will read it, but hey, it can't hurt to write about the crazy things going on in my life.   Now there will be errors!!  Spelling, grammar, lots and lots of errors, but hey, this is just for fun, right?

Soooo let's see.. where do I begin?  It's days before my 36th b day.. YIKES!  It just kind of snuck up on me.  A LOT has happened since birthday 35 and birthday 36...  I am usually one of those gals that LOVES my b day!!  Can't wait for it.. gets out my tiara and lives it up..  but last year was different.. for some reason the number 35 got me.  I was turning 35 and I still did not have a baby..  everything I was reading states.. your eggs are old once you turn 35.. so what do I do for my b day??? I get drunk and try to not think about it.  I also made an appt to see my Dr.  I show up to the appt. and cry my eyes out.. Yes, that really happened, and no, it wasn't pretty. Luckily my Dr knows me, and my history very very well..

Now, there is some backstory on that.  I will try and keep it short, but... it is a major story.  So it's 2006.. I have met the love of my life.. Chad.  It's a new relationship but 3 months in, I knew he was "the one" it may sound hokey, but it's true.  Well...come March, I had a surprise miscarriage.  It was a surprise because I didn't know I was pregnant.  Went to the Dr because I was sstill having some pain and it turns out, there's another baby!  I wasn't prepared for this, but I was over the  moon happy!  Well, that pregnancy also ended up in miscarriage and I almost bled to death in the process.  It turns out I have a blood clotting disorder and nobody knew about it.  Five days in the ICU, a dodged hysterectomy and a lot of tears later, I went home and licked my wounds.

So fast foward back to birthday 35.  I decide to get serious about this baby making.  We charted, we took temps, all that fun stuff, and it still wasn't happening.  So off to the Fertility Dr I go.  I find an Reproductive Endocriniologist (RE) and get myself checked out.  Well the miscarriages have done severe damage to my cervix, I have a blood clotting disorder, and I tested positive for the Natural Killer cells..  I'm told with my age, and my problems IVF is my best option.   So it's on to IVF for us. 

So, between birthday 35 and birthday 36 I've gone through one Fresh IVF cycle which resulted in a Big Fat Negative and one Frozen Egg Transfer which also resulted in a Big Fat Negative.

So this year, birthday 36 lands right smack in the middle of my third IVF cycle. 

So yeah, it's been a crazy year, and it doesn't look like the craziness is going to let up just yet!